Journaling - Questioning Reality

Since 2018, I have kept a journal. It all began when one day I was questioning everything even down to reality! I was searching for the meaning of life and questioning the validity of the social system that had been instilled into my subconscious programming since the day I was born on Earth. As I did this, I began to write it down in a notebook. It had lines, pictures and graphs of different versions of reality if I would had made a different choice. 

Writing seemed to fill a void within me. When I would write, my writings would be validated through dreams or watching a YouTube video. What do you think I was searching for? I wanted to fill a void an emptiness that was within. I wanted answers to questions about my existence. What was I here to do? What is my purpose? All these things were thoughts within my mind. Not just thoughts within my mind alone but a collective consciousness of individuals that all feel the same way. That are all on the same frequency of wanting to know. 

What I found out was that if you listen closely in the stillness and the quiet void of your very presence, you will hear the answer. It comes as an inner voice. A voice so low that you will only be able to hear it if you silence your mind and listen. It's an inner voice of wisdom that speaks and resides within all of us to provide answers to your questions. It's a good voice, a Divinely powered voice. Anything else of a negative light, will not be of the Word that is meant to guide but rather deceive. It can be confusing to discern the voice within. Your intuition will know. This power is sent from the Light. It is all encompassing Love and Light. Source Energy.

This journey of journaling began when I was at my lowest point on March 9, 2018. I had just went through a life changing experience. It was something that immediately changed my life forever and had lasting effects on my life. It was one of those experiences you do not come back from. Rather, you learn to move forward and cope in a different way. My way of coping was to sequester from all of the people and influences that had been around me. Isolating seemed to be the best choice of action for my situation.

It however left me questioning my purpose in life.

Then I wrote:

Prelude To My Spiritual Awakening

Four People

The World

When they are there

Everything feels complete

Imprisoned by Four Walls

A choice made to avoid all danger

The restraints hold limits

All of them out there

ONE

Left Behind

By Choice

No One's Fault

As the world keeps going

Left Behind

Don't really want to 

Wait

Coming Along

No More Solitaire

Stepping Out of The Cell

NO Longer Imprisoned

Emptiness Goes Away

What did Journaling do for me? It makes me feel complete and fulfilled. It's a place to get answers and to reflect on life. It's a place to do inner work. It's the place to begin fulfilling your purpose. It's where you begin to step outside of your comfort zone while reflecting on the ugly shadow side of your very being. Everyone has a dark side that is not pretty to look at. It is there that when we begin to step into the darkness that Light is shed upon the shadows. Allowing for us to expose the ugliness and heal a part of the soul.

That one poetry is where it all began. Answers began pouring in. My world of four were my two daughters and my boyfriend. It was the family I had always wanted. In a fast paced world where everything keeps moving, when I stayed stationary, I was left behind by choice. A trauma response to the events that happened previous. Which began a personal journey of self development and personal growth that is continuous. The other thing was, that I was even secluding from my immediate family. I found solitude in aloneness yet lonely all by myself. That is where journaling came in handy. It has lifted my spirits and now I am Eleven Journals in.

Sometimes there are bad days where I do not feel like journaling. It is when a depression plagues me that prevents me from feeling like writing. There are things you can do to show up for yourself when you do not "feel" like doing it. One of the things you can do, is change your environment. Go to a public place to journal or a favorite place in Nature to ground and center in tranquility. Do it even when you DO NOT feel like doing it. The feeling will pass and you will find joy in the very fact that you took action.  Even if you only write two sentences in your journal that is something. You can begin your journal entry in the morning upon waking up or when you go to sleep. Cleansing your living space of dense energy will also help to open up the creative waves in your mind and allow for the words to flow into your journal.